Part 9: Loving you was neither a choice nor an option, Loving you is my addiction.

Part 9: Loving you was neither a choice nor an option,

             Loving you is my addiction.

“Hey Asi Good Morning.” Priya greeted the receptionists who stood up to honor the boss. Sit, Priya said looking to the key box hung just left to her. Asi followed her boss’s interrogative eyes and asked if she may help with anything.

“Jayesh Uncle is still not here, right?” asked Priya, “Not even the clients.”

“No ma’am..” she wanted to be more informative but Priya expressed her relief beforehand. “Ma’am” the receptionist cuts in, “But he called asking about you.”  She looked really afraid this time. Priya asked about her reply and when she learnt that Asi has said the truth about her non arrival till then, she became nervous.

“Shit!” Priya sighed deep and twirled at her place once, when she faced Asi again, she faked a smile and almost ran upstairs. The receptionist got back to work with more relief.

~~

“Meera..” Priya almost bumped into the room, where her two important managers and her Personal Secretary were engrossed in something Meera was trying to make understand. “Sorry guys.” She settled herself on of the chairs which were left unoccupied.

“Good Morning Priya.” Meera greeted her, “What’s the matter? I guess something is really urgent to discuss right.”

No said Priya with a smile. She now looked to her team and reminded about the importance of the clients and how important the deal is going to be for their present and future. “Guys we have managed so many business; right, and almost every business is a success for you guys whom I have in my team. But this is something big, our first entry into the finance capital of the country, and that also with the Kapoor Industries. Tough the contract, if we can crack the deal, will be signed for their telecom industries which Ram Kapoor will handle hence forth, we will aim to outsource their complete customer services to us. This is the bull’s eye. Once we are in there we can explore more and more.”

Interrupted by Meera, Priya looked up, “But this will need communicate with the Kapoor Industries regularly isn’t it?”

“Not really that much and if any decision making part has to be handle you or I, anyone of us will go else the team will handle it. As we used to do all these days.” Priya sounded confident, “ I am not worried about it Meera, I am worried about the deal.”

“Why?” Meera asked back.

“Haan. Nothing” she sounded lost.

“Guys!” Meera clapped, “get some coffee, freshen up they will be here in a moment, which means nonstop meeting and scribbling please go and get yourselves refreshed.” After the room was occupied by her and Priya she sat on her chair just opposite to Priya and smiled.

“What? What for the hell you are smiling?” Priya snapped at her.

“First time you were late and you didn’t even tell me that you have already meet the hot shot Kapoor Son.” She chuckled.

“What Hot shot! Fat Shot will be more apt. You haven’t meet him yet that’s why.” Priya ignored.

“Well, Hot shot or Fat Shot! I am booked nah!” She winked pointing to her wedding ring.

“To the most handsome hunk I ever met. If you want Ram, then dedo mujhe apna husband..” Priya and Meera laughed in unison.

“No seriously you took him to look around yesterday?” Meera was surprised, “Priya Sharma and Boys the matching is quite unbelievable. Well what did you discuss then?”

“To what you are hinting to?”

“The 12^th man.”

“No ways haan, No 12^th man. Even if I will handle it.” Priya looked at the mirror which she took out from her bag to give a final touch to her makeup.

“All 11 were less influential than you. Ram Kapoor is more influential than you…” She was interrupted by Priya abruptly. She asked if her parents or Jayesh has told her anything about such plans to her. When No was the answer from Meera, Priya looked reliefed, “Then why we are discussing all these.”

“As a punishment for your late coming.” Meera smiled broad.

With a loud tap on the door, came in Jayesh and behind him Amarnath Kapoor and Ram Kapoor. Meera and Priya stood up to greet the ultimate boss and the guests.

“What made you late today Priya?” Jayesh asked sharply.

“Nothing Sir, I have no excuses to defend. I am fully to blame.” Priya said in a low voice.

“Well, the team is ready, as we are already going 30 minutes late, we should start the presentation right away. What do you think Mr. Kapoor.” Jayesh turned to Amarnath. Upon agreement with the client Jayesh asked Priya to come with her team, while he asked Meera to join them. Ram was the last person to leave the room. He looked and smiled at Priya, probably he is the only person present in the room who knew the exact reason of getting late. “Looking Nice.” He complemented.

Now Priya looked up and almost scrutinized Ram from head to Toe. The cream colour suit with maroon shirt was perfectly matched with his personality. The black Armani shoes shined like a mirror. The collar button of the shirt left open, through which she could see the Ganesh Pendent, her eyes became red noticing the same. That moment still hurts her, and she cursed herself to give it to him which she bought from her first earned money from the tuitions she used to give. “Thanks Mr. Kapoor.” She walked to the door, “You must be get going, I need 10 minutes.” The tap from her heels echoed through the corridor. He kept on looking at her till she got vanished behind a door, and which bore the name as “Priya Sharma, CEO” he noticed it earlier when he walked past that door few minutes earlier.

~~

Almost 20 Minutes after , Priya came to the conference room, with Maya and Rajesh the two trusted employees of her, or rightly to be said her two hands, considering Meera to be the eyes. She introduced them to the clients and took the seat just by Ram, her regular spot. “Please start it Maya.” She asked.

Oddly Ram and Priya occupied the opposite seats, while Ram concentrated to the presentation completely; Priya had a divided concentration amongst Ram and presentation. The next fifteen minutes the room was occupied by the confident voice of Maya which was then lead by Rajesh for another fifteen.

“Quite impressive.” Ram sat straight. “But why didn’t you present this Ms Sharma?” He asked looking for an answer from Priya.

“Well Mr. Kapoor” Meera spoke, “Priya or I could have easily presented it you with pie charts, bar charts few previous success analysis; but what these two has explained to you in 30 minutes that even with minute details it would have taken more than 2 hours for us.”

“I see.” Ram responded back with a sober smile. “But I have few queries about the technical part.”

“That’s not an issue; we will arrange a meeting with the technical person.” Priya said.

“Not with me but with my Technical Head. He will be here by tomorrow. If you don’t mind can you fix the meeting tomorrow?” Ram said, “I am not so much technically sound, though I am having degree in it. He is the right person to clear all the facts.”

“Perfectly ok with us.” Priya turned to her PS and asked him to get an update with the schedule of Kavi, her technical head and also asked him to arrange a meeting with Ram Kapoor. “Anything else, if you want to ask Mr. Kapoor?” Priya asked.

“No not really, but I want to congratulate your team and you for having such confidence and for having them in your team.” Ram looked to his father, who responded back with a smile in agreement.

After the team left Jayesh took the seat of the meeting. “So if we are done, Priya I would suggest that you just check with Ram, he has any special clause to add.” Jayesh looked to Ram, “What we were discussing on our way here.”

“Special clause!” Priya got into shock.

“There was nothing such discussed Sir.” Meera defended Priya. “I mean what special clause?”

“That I will discuss with Priya.” Ram bite his tongue, “I mean Ms. Sharma.”

Priya looked clueless about the same, gesturing in disagreement she looked for help from Meera, who sat there defending Priya. “It’s Okay Mr. Kapoor, but I am the CFO, whatever clause you have should go through me. I have to make sure our company don’t run into crisis for those. So I would like to learn them too.”

“It’s not an issue, you can know it from Ms. Sharma, she can brief it you. I will discuss it with Ms. Sharma only.” Ram noticed the unpleasant look that Meera threw at him.

“Mr. Kapoor. I and Meera will be looking at this future prospective venture together, so whatever clause you have, that must be shared with her also, directly. If you don’t mind.” Priya sounded pretty offended this time. She quickly typed a message in her mobile and hit the sent button.

“Stop behaving like a non-sensical buger. If you were not my client I would have thrown you out for this dare.”

“What I have done?”  The reply came immediately.

“Meera is my mentor, my sister. Stop this nonsense.”  She again hit the send button.

“Anything you are thinking Ram.” Amarnath spoke, “I think both of them should know about your special clause. They are not someone who deals with clients with 5 employees or from a single room. They have many other clients like us so they have to divide their time to us.”

“Ya.” Ram agreed to his father, “I am sorry Ma’am” he apologized.

“It’s fine. Final call will be yours.” Meera replied, who sat there still unconvinced by Ram’s gesture.

When Priya was about to take permission to leave, the phone in the conference rang loudly. Priya, who sat nearest picked it up. Within few seconds, she stood up; the lines on her temple signified the seriousness of the situation. “Excuse me.” Priya rushed out of the room, without waiting for any response, perplexing every other person.

“I will check it.” Meera left behind her calling Priya by her name. While the later turned her ears deaf to everyone else, former was surprised and worried to find Ram Kapoor by her side. The client must not witness something unwanted, she thought.

~~

“Mr. Pilani…” Priya gestured a fake smile as broad as she can, “What a pleasant surprise!” she rolled her eyes to her PS and the other few employees who were trying to handle the awkward unwanted situation, “Don’t you have manner.. Sahab ka take care kaise karte hain ni jante?”

“Don’t try to act over smart Priya!” the man yelled out.

“Ms. Sharma or Ms. Priya or Ma’am which ever you are comfortable with.”  She smiled annoying the intruder.

“Whatever..” Pilani now looked at Meera, “ I have told you to stay away. I am the market leader and I will remain always. You dared to take permission from the authorities?” There was a sense of warning in his voice.

“I like it!” Priya smiled in return, “You know something what I am asked not to do, I do that with more power more confidence. No one can drag you down from the market, no one, if you really are the market lead, if not we will see.”

The man kept on mumbling bad words for Priya but didn’t have the courage to speak, the spark in Priya’s eyes were enough to blow away the gathered confidence. “I will see you..”

“So am I not here?” Priya smiled, while few of the staffs laughed, “Guys shut up.” She scolded. She took few steps to the raging man, “If you think making a scene infront of my clients will make me think twice about my decision, then two things you are wrong and you don’t know me and you really don’t know me. So leave before I lose my patience.” She warned this time.

When the man found himself amongst the security guards he chose to leave. While he walked out of the entrance, Priya asked everyone to leave for work. “Arun” she called her PS by his name, “I want to meet the securities who are in duty now. How dare they let him in when I have already instructed each and everyone to bar his entry to my office? I don’t want this nuisance again.”

“Isn’t it getting worse Priya, we should file a police complaint against him.” Meera suggested.

“Oh! Come ‘on he is bloody insecure about his business and we will see about the Police …” Priya stopped looking at Ram, “We will discuss this later Meera.” She focused completely on Ram now, “So Mr. Kapoor can we continue about your special clause. My cabin is that way.” She pointed.

“I need to make a call. I know the way to your cabin.” Ram paced up and walked out.

“Priya this is not good.” Meera warned.

“Why did you let him here?” She countered.

“Arey so what should I be doing then asking him with the same rude tone that he used just sometimes earlier?”

“Why the hell you are here? You know I am handling this…” Priya grinded her teeth. Before Meera could reply Priya’s phone buzzed in her pocket, “One minute.” Pulling out the phone she found that Ram is calling her. “Excuse me.” Priya walked away from Meera to the furthest corner, where an array of black chairs was placed for visitors. For the first time Meera was excused by Priya and that made things really alarming for the former.

“Why are you calling me?” Priya controlled her anger.

“What was that? Who was that fellow and how dare he to talk to you like that?” Ram sounded furious.

“Really Ram!” Priya smiled, “What made you so angry and concerned? Whatever he said to me was nothing, he only warned me not to cross his way. If this angers you so much then where were you when I was called a whore, whoring two men at the same time?” Priya immediately disconnected the call, she could feel the tears trickling her eyes. In twelve years she has somehow mastered herself in controlling emotions. Reason might be that she never wanted to make herself vulnerable again or she missed that shoulder, where she can lean and cry without worry.

Priya’s words pierced Ram’s ears like a bullet going straight into the heart rupturing every muscle, veins & arteries coming on its way. He tried not to remember that cursed day of his life, but it flashed in front of him. Clasping his hands against his eyes he cursed himself worst for running away that day. He could feel no explanation stands worthy. A single terrible mistake took away everything from Priya. She might have acquired some extraordinary career, pride, honour, dignity but that day she was torn apart by Rajat. Her self-respect, dignity was smashed under the feet of that self centric man. One wrong decision and it was over. “Why did it take so much to gather courage to face the world? Why did I run away when she needed me? Why didn’t I beat that Rajat to his death after all those? Why didn’t I try to find you out Priya? I never wanted to lose you neither want to lose you now. I want you back Priya, anything that will pacify you I will do, give me a chance.” In the fear of losing his love forever he muttered to himself. Ram sat there for next few minutes until his phone rang.

~~

“Hello” he said in an unclear voice.

“Are you okay Ram?” the voice from the other side asked him with concern.

“No I am not Vikram. I am not. She is back.” Ram said to his only soul friend, “Priya is The Priya Sharma now Vikram.”

“What? What did you say right now?”

“Yes. You heard it right.” Ram stood up and walked to the gate that leads all the cars to the premises. “Your assumptions were right and you know what she don’t know till that you are my Technical Head.”

“She hates us too Ram. Neha tried to contact her many times for 2 years till she changed her mobile number, I guess.” Vikram spoke softly, “Even she wrote to her Indore address about our marriage, but no reply came back ever.” He sighed, “We did some terrible mistake as young adults Ram. Our fear of getting thrown out, beaten up by the elders and taking decision on our own has almost cost her life and if we expect she will behave normal with us, that’s a blunder on our part.”

“But I need to clear all those things with her. I got chance even yesterday but she didn’t let me speak properly.” Ram felt helpless.

“So what do you expect?” Vikram retorted furiously, “One fine day we will throw her like garbage out of our lives for protecting our own insecurities and again another fine day we will go to her and beg mercy, give her explanations and she will forgive us! No Ram No.”

“But..” Ram was cut in by Vikram, “Let us give her time; I know this project is on. You will get to spend much time with her. So let her speak first not us and I don’t know how I will face her? I am already feeling chocked.”

“You don’t have to face her for two days neither I am going to tell her that you are my Tech Head.” Ram said running his left hand through his hairs, “We are going to outskirts of Delhi for Dristhi’s marriage and you will be having meetings with her Tech Head. I will mail you all the details”

“No.” Vikram expressed his disagreement, “Before she comes to know from anyone else, introduce me to her. Don’t do the same mistake again. That time you came late and she ruined herself. This time let her know that how much unpleasant may it be, you have to courage to face it and trust me Ram it is good for you.”

“But when it comes to her I don’t know why I start trembling. Everytime the sense of the distance that we have kills me. Vikram I want her back.” Ram declared.

“Win her back. Before winning her love, you have to win her trust back. Just do it brother not for anyone but for her. Just win her back. Take this as a challenge or anything just do it.” There was a silence from Vikram’s side, “Win her back.”

“I agree.” Ram sounded much relaxed to have her friend by him, “I will..I will win her back, I will.” 

He sighed I relief, “See you tonight brother and don’t inform Neha about Priya else she will get hyper and at this time this is not good for her or junior Shergil.”

They hung up the call. Ram turned to the office building that was guarding the arrogant sun’s demonic rays to touch his skin and burn them to ashes, the shade in which he stood resembles the darkness of the path in which he is about to start.

~~

“Don’t you think a lot of things are happening for the first time?” Meera stopped Priya as she walked back to her. Priya looked up with to find Meera’s unpleased expression thrown towards her. “Another first.” Meera stepped close to her and wiped out the tears she still had on the corner of her eyes. 

“What happened Priya? What is bothering you?” Meera asked caringly, “ Something in your life has trembled, I don’t know what it is exactly but whatever it is work on it. I can help you only if you care to share.”

“Nothing..” Priya nodded in response with a deep sigh, “Just remembered something from past.”

“An array of first time.” When Priya threw a stern look in response Meera continued, “ No I mean it. Priya Sharma is remembering the past.”

“Am I not a human? Don’t I have the emotions? Aren’t I allowed to remember?” She almost shouted.

“Control Priya; don’t forget you are the boss.” Meera warned her.

“I need space.” Priya walked towards her cabin fast. With Ram coming into the scene Meera witnessed a huge emotional shift in her, that made are suspect Ram to be the reason behind it, and she cemented to her assumption when she found Ram witnessing the whole conversation, standing shell shocked trying to hide himself from their eyes, but the glass wall in front made his attempt go in vain.

“Mr. Kapoor.” She walked towards him knowingly trying to intervene, “ We were looking for you only, come.” They started walking to the lift lobby when she decided to test her intuitions, “So if I am not wrong you and Priya know each other right?”

Ram froze at his place, “How did she knows?” he muttered to himself, “Sorry” he uttered to her.

“I thought you and Priya know eachother, I came to know Priya took you around Delhi, for tour yesterday. She doesn’t do these hospitality things at all. Actually she hates it. She confines herself into his office and study and family. Giving time to someone she doesn’t know is a first time for her, if you guys are unknown to eachother.” Meera looked up to record Ram’s facial expression. He was lost in his own world, stepping into the elevator; she still kept her gaze fixed on him. When the elevator was about to close, she pressed the open key and called Ram little louder. This time he looked up. “Come in, where you got lost?”

Hesitatingly cursing himself and trying to smile he stepped in. Meera on the other hand was pretty confident on her part, looked at Ram, who smiled and replied, “then I must say it is very sweet on Ms. Sharma’s part that she took the pain to show her hospitality to me.”

“Ya.” Meera smiled back, while Ram got himself busy with his phone. All through till Priya’s cabin Ram didn’t allow Meera to speak any further, by keeping himself busy in checking mails and in between calls.

~~

“Come in” Priya said. She stood facing the glass wall inscribed in her cabin, giving the view of the complete skyline.

“Kavi hasn’t turned up yet?” Meera questioned. Priya answered her back with a no without turning to her.

“I will get him here. Mr. Kapoor have a seat.” Meera said getting Priya aware of his presence. Now she turned to face the two persons.

“I will ask Arun to…” She walked to her desk and picked up the intercom. Before she can press the desired extension Meera stopped her and walked out of the room to see Kavi. Priya put down the receiver and occupied her seat.

“I am sorry.” The sudden reply from Priya surprised Ram. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you so rudely. I promise you our past will not come between us.”

“Vikram is my tech head.” Ram cuts in.

“Oh!” Priya’s reply was quite blunt. “Ok.. Ok..” she nodded her head in disbelief.

“They are married now. I mean Neha and Vikram. They are blessed with their second boy just few days back.” Ram said.

“Please don’t discuss this. Let me clear you something pretty quick.” Priya walked to the door to check if Meera or anyone is around or not, “No one knows who was that boy, no one knows the exact reason. So please don’t do anything that can expose us.” Priya continued, “I will try not being harsh with you, and please you try not to remind me of those days. Please” she pleaded.

Before Ram could answer there was a knock at the door. “Come In” she voiced walking back to her place. Meera came in with a young man in his late twenties. Introducing him as the Tech Head, Kavi she sat on the chair opposite to Priya. Avoiding her, Priya revolved around and left her seat and got herself busy in introducing Kavi to Ram and explaining the brilliance of the boy she has in her team. Meera sat there as spectator of the drama that Priya was trying to pull off with utmost brilliance.

~~

After the lunch when the three meet back at Priya’s cabin, Meera asked Ram to put his special clause out of the envelope.

“Nothing to worry. Just two, first if everything works, then deal will be signed at Mumbai and second our clients are very precious to us, so if you guys don’t have a problem I want you people to interact with the important ones if they come up with any major issues. At first hand I wanted you guys to have your office for our customers at Mumbai itself.” Ram was interrupted.

“I get your first point, but the second point is just ridiculous” Priya stared at Ram’s stern look, “Ok I am sorry. But how can customer know our location, Mumbai or Delhi it doesn’t matter, what matters the services and…”

“I know Miss Sharma, but you didn’t let me finish.” Ram raised his voice to make his point clear to her.

“Carry on Mr. Kapoor.” Meera said, throwing a bad look at Priya.

“I want you guys to carry on the process for a week only from Mumbai itself and we have setup, not as big as yours but for a week it can be managed and what we need is your Manpower. Look we are having a good will in the market. From three generations we are dealing with them and we want to make sure that person we are going to hand over the relationships sector, endangering our earned goodwill partially or completely, is capable of doing that or not?” Ram looked for an answer from the ladies, “ Am I asking for something irrational or ridiculous as you said Ms. Sharma.”

“No.” Priya said, “And the deal will be signed after that. Right?”

“Yes. The final agreement.”

“Meera.” Priya looked up to hear from her.

“And the costs who will bear it? We will be moving with a team of 20 at least the best amongst the best we have.” She asked.

“We. Your food lodging, transport everything will be looked after by us. You just need to pay the salaries to them as you do every month. Other than that every official expense will be bear by the Kapoor Industries.” Ram answered adding “Only seven days. If you don’t agree I fear I can’t move ahead.”

“We will let you know the details, if everything goes as we are or have planned.” Meera replied to Ram assuring of getting her team to Mumbai if the deal is on. “Please give your Tech head my number, ask him to call me tomorrow before leaving for here, because both of you will not be here when he arrives here.”

“Actually he is arriving today evening and I will show him this place. His hotel is just adjacent to the office. I don’t think he will face any problem. He has completed his studies from Delhi itself and did job here for 1 and half years before moving to Mumbai. So he will fine.” Ram replied.

“Okay Mr. Kapoor as you wish, but Meera can accompany him till 12 after that she will also leave for Dristhi’s marriage. So is it fine?” Priya asked.

“He is here to handle the technical part any decision that will be taken by me so if your tech head here I am fine with it.”

Priya nodded back to him, “Meet you later. I have to leave, have some prior engagements.” With a warm gesture Priya excused herself, Meera asked Ram to come along with her. But he expressed his willingness to roam around Delhi, which he has already discussed with his father. As requested Meera took him to Jayesh’s chamber, where he asked for permission from Amarnath Kapoor for leave. There came no objection as Priya was bit fast than him to inform the elders about the fruitful closing of the day.

~~

“May I know where are you heading to?” Ram asked as Priya picked up the phone on the other side.

“No.” the reply was too sharp to handle, but Ram maintained his calm, “You can’t. It is none of your business. I promised you not to be harsh inside the office. The more you invade into my private space I will tear you apart. So brace yourself and mind your own business.”

“I am minding my own business.” Ram replied with a laugh, “You are my damn business and I will keep on trying until and unless I win back your trust. I will not ask you to forgive me, I will not ask you to forget. Forgiveness and Forgetting has no meaning to the actions made in past. I am your culprit and I do accept every punishment that you will give me. I am ready for the worst. But I will win your trust back, I will win you back.”

“In your dreams.” Rudely she retorted.

“In reality. At any cost, with any punishment you give to me. Just punish me Priya. But stop punishing yourself. Stop killing yourself. Kill me Punish me. I am okay with it, but stop it I can’t see you like this.” Begged Ram from other side.

“It is late Ram. Priya, whom you loved, who loved you is dead. This Priya Sharma only knows to win. Only knows to breath, challenge, race, speed. This Priya has no heart. I can crush anyone for my benefit. Anyone just anyone.” The calmness in her voice echoed louder than her cries inside Ram’s heart.

“Don’t do this Priya. Do it with me but not yourself.” Ram was late, the line went dead, much before he finished, he only realized the same late.

Inside the car sitting on the back seat, she instructed her driver to drive to the coffee shop, where she wants to spend some lone time. As the car zoomed through the busy roads of Delhi, she looked outside and whispered, “Punishing you hurts me more; than when I punish myself. It was, is and will never be a good option.” Closing her eyes she sighed deep trying to concentrate on the darkness that evolved in front of her.

~~